Singer-songwriter EJAE, known to many global fans as the powerhouse voice behind K-Pop Demon Hunters, is bravely opening up about the painful experiences she endured as a child trainee at SM Entertainment and how the impact still affects her today.
In a recent interview with And The Writer Is…, EJAE revealed that she is still in therapy for what she went through at the company when she was just 11 to 13 years old. According to EJAE, one of the most humiliating experiences was being weighed publicly in front of everyone, including male trainees. At just a pre-teen age, she says she was told her body was a problem.
You’re very impressionable when you’re a teenager. You know when girls go through puberty. You’re very sensitive and a lot is about your physical appearance. Your weight and stuff like that. And now I get it, but you don’t know as a kid, that when you’re in a business like entertainment, you’re always critiqued. And you’re critiqued in a way that’s too blunt as a kid. There’s not much filter in how the critiquing went. Literally every week, we’d weigh ourselves in front of everyone. And they’d call out the weight. And I was tall… I was like 5 6′ or 7 as a seventh grader. I was taller than the guys. So I weighed more than the guys. And girls have baby fat, we hold on to water weight, you know? We gain weight. And I remembered getting scolded for weighing a certain weight. And I was dancing a certain way, and I remember they said it felt heavy. And they said it’s because I was overweight.
— EJAE
EJAE explained that she was criticized for her dancing, being told it looked “too heavy” because she was overweight. She also recalled deeply hurtful comments about her voice, saying she was told it sounded “ugly.” This was largely due to the musical trend back then which favored higher ranges for girls.
For a tween still growing into herself, the words left lasting scars. Now an accomplished artist with international recognition, EJAE admitted that despite her success, the trauma from those formative years hasn’t simply disappeared. She continues to attend therapy to process the shame and pressure she experienced during her trainee days.
You can watch her candid confessions below.