The ongoing JTBC K-Drama, We Are All Trying Here, has been steadily winning over its global viewers since its premiere. However, its latest episode has triggered heated backlash, predominantly from its Korean viewership.
The backlash centers on a scene in a recently aired episode in which the female lead, Eun Ah (played by Go Youn Jung), lifts her sweater and lets the male lead, Dong Man (played by Koo Kyo Hwan), slip inside as she wraps him in a comforting hug. The scene takes place while the two characters are in a comic book café.
얘 은아야 너 힘있는 엄마가 되고 싶다며 https://t.co/ooJT2pkcam pic.twitter.com/X3OmA9msSr
— fi (@yankinekoze) May 16, 2026
Judging by the discourse on social media, there appears to be a two-fold criticism of this scene. Firstly, many argued that if the director’s intention was to portray a comforting moment, it could have been executed more effectively. The way the hug was choreographed rather muddied that intention by injecting the male gaze into it.
This scene is drenched in the male gaze. It made me feel uncomfortable, the director should have realized how it won’t translate well onscreen. https://t.co/JB2DcZAIf9
— Harry✨️ (@harrywithdreams) May 16, 2026
there could have been so many ways to embrace him to show comfort, even having her wear opened buttoned cardigan so she wraps it around him for a hug would have been sweet. but this just looks like a grown man being swaddled. i really wish they made a different decision here https://t.co/lW51IDgssL
— sana (@sonobakery) May 16, 2026
아니 진짜 백번천번 양보해서 연민했다 치자,
근데 어떻게
늙남연민
➡️옷 들춰서 사람 머리를 굳이굳이 옷 속에 넣고 또 굳이굳이 통과까지 시켜서 감싸주기
의 사고흐름이 가능할 수가 있는거임…?
뭐 아들을 품은 어머니의 모성애같은 걸
표현하고 싶었나 본데…그냥 기괴함 https://t.co/tr6CRHl7bl
— 워리🌱 (@To_jjS) May 16, 2026
Fine. I’ll grant you the benefit of the doubt a hundred times over and assume it was an act of pity.
But how, exactly…
“Pity for an Old Man”
➡️ Lifting up one’s clothes, deliberately tucking another person’s head inside, and then—with painstaking effort—guiding it all the way through to the other side just to wrap them up…how is *that* train of thought even remotely possible?
I suppose they were trying to portray something like a mother’s maternal love embracing her son…
But honestly? It just comes across as creepy.
— The post above
The deeper criticism, however, concerns how the female lead was made into a “mother” figure for the male lead, even though he was almost a decade older than her in the story. Many Korean female viewers noted that it was a recurring theme in director Park Hae Young’s works, including K-Dramas like My Mister. Korean netizens expressed their exhaustion with this problematic trend of centering the man’s struggles in the story while using the woman as a tool to comfort or fix him.
what bothers me so much is that theyre both such good characters on their own and represent such relatable traumatized ppl but making ur FL who has mommy issues someone who wants to be a good mother isnt heartwarming or profound in any way https://t.co/dbfjCPxyeu
— ⭐️ (@jangeuraes) May 17, 2026
writernim,this is not heartfluttering or warm at all, it’s really uncomfortable to watch,man in his 40 and a woman in her 30 doing this in a cafe feels off,I feel bad for the actors,a normal hug would have been enough https://t.co/HL1FOo9qcz
— kaka (@junebirdsbaby) May 17, 2026
나의 아저씨 박해영작가 언제까지 이런 작품 만들거임 미디어에 이딴 장면 좀 내보내지마
40대 무직남자를 30대초의 직장인 여자가 안쓰러워하면서 사랑에 빠져서 위로해주는데 위로해주는 방식이 옷 들쳐서 옷 속으로 넣어서 감싸안아주는거임 pic.twitter.com/jzsJleyRbU
— 아이나 (@aina0660) May 16, 2026
Park Hae Young, the writer behind My Mister, how long are you going to keep producing works like this? Stop putting scenes like this out into the media.
It depicts a working woman in her early thirties falling in love with an unemployed man in his forties out of pity, and the way she chooses to comfort him is by lifting up her clothes, tucking him underneath, and wrapping her arms around him.
— The post above
왜 자꾸 나이믾은 남자를 여자가 보듬어야하지 ;; https://t.co/n7S13aV6bn
— 신토불이걸 (@I_believe_owo) May 16, 2026
Why is it always the woman who has to coddle the older man?
— The post above
무슨 40대 남자를 30대 여성이 입양하는 것 같은 연출이네. 얼척없음 https://t.co/BHNMROisbf
— 거미북이 (@K1E1T1O1) May 16, 2026
It’s staged to look like a woman in her 30s is adopting a man in his 40s. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
— The post above
이 작가 작품들 전체적으로 남자들을 품어주고 싶어서 안달난 그녀의 마음이 너무 잘보여서 거부감 들어 https://t.co/ip7iwIfyEl
— 완다 (@wanda_rery) May 16, 2026
Overall, I feel repulsed by this author’s works because her desperate desire to embrace and comfort men is so obvious.
— The post above
The criticism, however, didn’t cross over much to the international viewers’ side, as many actually praised the depiction of intimacy between Eun Ah and Dong Man in that particular scene.
I’m not impressed by kissing scenes anymore
It doesn’t matter if it’s a cute kiss or being devoured kiss or anything like that, in my opinion, that’s a real love scene, simple and realistic, that we all desire, full of affection and tenderness. That scene was the purest and most… pic.twitter.com/mVtW0WM0E1
— Patty #WeAreAllTryingHere spoilers (@Wookinho) May 16, 2026
this is one of the most intimate, genuine and heart warming scene i think i have watched in a really long time. she hides his tears and holds him close like he was made for her embrace. absolutely stunning… #wearealltryinghere #wearealltryinghereep9 pic.twitter.com/fZIDQzQGmm
— tallyn 🏹 (@girlinyearning) May 16, 2026
Isn’t this what we need? Someone telling us its okay to get away if its too much, its okay to protect ourself, & its okay to not start a journey we just aren’t ready for? It gives way more strength than an empty cheer! Her protective hug #WeAreAllTryingHere #WeAreAllTryingHereEp9 pic.twitter.com/pa6350xwrg
— Joonie⁷⊙⊝⊜ (@vihha8) May 16, 2026
What are your thoughts on this scene?