A beloved actress opened up about the harsh abuse and deep loneliness she experienced as a child from her mother.
In a video released on November 5th titled “The Secret Happy People Around Me Don’t Tell… Realizing This Changed My Life,” Ahn Sun Young confessed that as a child, her mother verbally abused her with phrases like “You take after your father, just go die.”
When asked by the production team if she ever considered herself an unhappy person, she replied, “Wasn’t there a time when I thought I just shouldn’t have been born?” Ahn explained that although her mother was suddenly in a difficult situation, she vented her pain on her not as discipline but as a way to release anger.
She recounted hearing verbal abuses such as “You take after your father,” and “Go die,” adding, “I even wondered, ‘Am I really useless in life? Did I ruin my mom’s life by being born?’”
Growing up, Ahn denied her very existence and recalled being a child who was very conscious of how others saw her. Unlike her now lively demeanor, she was so quiet at school that she barely stood out in her class, believing she was a burden to others and rarely felt happiness.
What was especially heartbreaking was her memory of feeling such deep loneliness that she would cry alone in front of a mirror. Recalling those times, Ahn said, “I was so lonely that I looked in the mirror and called out, ‘Sun Young.’”
She would watch herself crying in the mirror and become even sadder, crying harder. “I had no friends, so I cried alone in front of the mirror,” she said. Since no one called her name or comforted her in childhood, she spoke to herself in the mirror.
Having grown up, her perspective on the unhappiness she endured has changed. Ahn stated, “Some people have kind moms who hold their hands and are there for them, while others have moms who constantly scold, shake their confidence, and scare them, like mine.” She emphasized that everyone’s upbringing is different.
She stressed that just because she grew up in an unhappy environment doesn’t mean she should deny others happiness. She also shared that she channels her efforts into not becoming that kind of mom, saying, “I’m working hard not to become that mom,” to avoid repeating the wounds she experienced in her own children.
Furthermore, she said blaming others or the world alone won’t change life. “I’ve blamed others and the world the most, but nothing changes,” Ahn said, expressing her belief that changing one’s life requires personal effort.
However, even now as an adult, the wounds from her childhood still remain in her heart. Reflecting on the memories of calling her own name while crying before the mirror, Ahn said, “Thinking about that time still makes me sad,” leaving a profound sense of sorrow.