We Are All Trying Here: Episodes 3-4
by quirkycase
This week, we delve deeper into who our characters are and what makes them tick. Our dejected leads find solace in their burgeoning friendship as the world continues to beat them down. In addition to their work troubles, both protagonists are forced to deal with unexpected family trauma that weighs on them. Still, through their relationship they’re beginning to find healthier ways of coping and strength to face the world.
EPISODES 3-4
In last week’s episodes, we were introduced to Dong-man and Eun-ah from the outside in – we got to know them through their behavior and how they are perceived by those around them. This week, we go more internal and focus on how they view themselves. Dong-man and Eun-ah share similar emotional experiences, but where Dong-man externalizes, Eun-ah internalizes. They each feel deeply in ways that have made them feel isolated, but it’s lovely to see them starting to realize they might not have to be so lonely after all.
Thanks to their participation in the trial for the emotion-tracking watch, Eun-ah and Dong-man start seeing a lot more of each other. Being in a study centered around emotions is the perfect environment for vulnerability, and it opens the door for more honest conversations about their inner (and outer) lives. Both of them are getting more in touch with their feelings through the watches, which often give them words for emotions they couldn’t place.
Eun-ah’s unique emotional response during her nosebleeds is an unnamed pattern that goes deeper than just anger. She’s triggered mostly by people who have hurt and abandoned her in the past. The severe nosebleed she gets when having to deal with her horrid ex-boyfriend MA JAE-YOUNG (Kim Jong-hoon) – who is refusing to give her credit for a screenplay they co-wrote and even tells her he wishes she’d die – ends up sending her to the hospital.
But around Dong-man, her watch reads “relieved.” Eun-ah becomes freer around him, more open and animated. His wild displays of emotion in response to the world, so opposite to her own retreat, are causing her to start externalizing her feelings a little more. And around her, Dong-man in turn feels less of a need to act out and instead becomes a little more settled. They provide each other a sense of balance and safety.
Eun-ah tells Dong-man people are basically just embodiments of their strongest emotions, and very few of those emotions are positive. Children are lovely because they haven’t settled into those emotions yet. When Dong-man asks what his dominant emotional state is, she astutely answers that it’s anxiety. Dong-man agrees, saying he talks so much to chase that anxiety away. Otherwise, the truth that he’s worthless might be revealed in the silence.
For Dong-man, his emotional patterns have led him to believe he’s a destructive person. Every time something chaotic or traumatic (like a nearby car crash) happens, he feels excited, which has made him accept that he’s not a nice person. Eun-ah interprets him differently and says it’s like he has a thousand doors wide open; he’s raw and warm by nature. And we see that she’s right, at least when it comes to people he cares about.
Dong-man only tends toward destruction when he’s angry or hurt. Take his relationship with his frenemy Kyung-se, for example, whose new film Dong-man gleefully trashes online and in the group chat (which they’ve surprisingly left Dong-man in). Or the way Dong-man has been antagonizing his former friends, showing up at the bar and intruding where he knows he’s unwelcome. It’s clearly not good for him, but it’s like he can’t help himself.
When their club leader of sorts PARK YOUNG-SOO (Jeon Bae-soo) asks Dong-man to be kinder to Kyung-se, Dong-man wonders why he’s supposed to be kind to people who hate him. He’s naturally kind to those who treat him kindly. But whenever he’s with his so-called friends, his watch reads “anxious.” Why is no one else held accountable for their behavior towards him?
Things get darker at home when Dong-man returns one day to find his brother preparing to die by suicide. Dong-man coaxes an almost unresponsive Jin-man out of the bathroom, holding his hand and reading him a poem about emptiness and pain that clearly resonates with them both. Jin-man, apparently, is a former poet who now works as a welder by day and drinks away his sorrows by night.
Eun-ah, too, finds herself in a dark headspace when a social media post calls out famous actress OH JUNG-HEE (Bae Jong-ok) for abandoning her real daughter while playing stepmom to young actress JANG MI-RAN (Han Sun-hwa). When she was nine, Eun-ah was abandoned by both of her parents and left to fend for herself. Little Eun-ah told no one, afraid to admit she had been abandoned. Seeing as she now lives with her grandmother, at some point Eun-ah must’ve been taken in by her.
Now, Dong-hyun is desperate to find Jung-hee’s biological daughter. If she speaks out, she could destroy Jung-hee’s reputation and career. They need her to toe their line. Of course, he has no idea that daughter is listening to his frantic calls right outside his office.
Eun-ah is so down she calls Dong-man that night, asking him to tell her something interesting. So he regales her with a dramatic tale of his battle with sleep paralysis that he won when he stopped resisting. He takes it as a life lesson that you don’t have to fight everything – sometimes it’s okay to just acknowledge you’re struggling. By the end of their conversation, Eun-ah’s tears turn to laughter and her nosebleed stops.
The next day, Eun-ah is berated by Dong-hyun again for no good reason. And this time, she doesn’t let it go. She tells Dong-hyun not to get it twisted: she’s never thought of him as powerful (just annoying), and being quiet doesn’t mean she’s a pushover. Then, she takes her coworkers to task for not having the guts to come at her directly, which would at least be entertaining. Eun-ah informs everyone, including Dong-hyun, that she’s leaving work early since they clearly don’t have the constitution to handle the awkward atmosphere. HA! So satisfying.
Meanwhile, the feud between Dong-man and Kyung-se escalates to ridiculous heights when Kyung-se retaliates by posting a thesis to the group chat on how terrible and untalented Dong-man is. Everyone is embarrassed by this petty fighting between 40-year-olds, but none more so than Hye-jin. She’s fed up with how immature Kyung-se gets around Dong-man and threatens to ban him from her bar if he doesn’t get his act together. Hye-jin is clearly the competent one who’s worked behind the scenes for years to make her husband’s mediocre films a success.
Dong-man then calls Kyung-se out for a chat and praises him for his excellent work. That post was the best thing he’s ever written! Pfft. Dong-man reminds his friends that being successful isn’t the same as being happy. They’re all the same, living their lives with ups and downs.
Jin-man comes upon this petty shouting match in the street and has had enough. He launches himself at Dong-man, perhaps using him as a punching bag for his own anger and pain. Everyone’s yelling and holding Jin-man back – it’s a mess. They all end up at the police station, and when they ask for Dong-man’s occupation, he freezes. “He’s a film director,” Eun-ah says as she sits beside him. We end as, to Dong-man’s shock and confusion, she tells the cops she’s Dong-man’s producer.
Yay, it looks like Dong-man and Eun-ah might begin to work together! I think what they both need is a partner to bring out the best in them and boost their confidence. Eun-ah has had her work stolen by someone she trusted and is constantly being put down at work, despite being previously lauded for her skills. And Dong-man has been rejected constantly for decades, but seems to have interesting ideas that he just needs some help bringing to life. I want to see these two team up and prove everyone wrong while also finally getting to achieve their goals.
With that birth secret looming, it’s good timing for Eun-ah to be finding her voice. There’s no way her identity is going to stay buried for long now that industry heavyweights are looking for her, and she’s going to need all the confidence and strength she can get to deal with this. We’ve seen how deeply she’s been traumatized by her mom’s abandonment that she still hasn’t processed fully, so I hope she gets to confront Jung-hee on her own terms when she’s ready.
There’s so much anger simmering beneath the surface for our characters, including Jin-man. I wasn’t expecting the turn his character took this week, although it was clear he wasn’t happy either. (Is anyone in this drama?) Knowing that he gave up his dream of being a poet for a practical career explains a lot about him and his relationship with Dong-man. As the big brother, he has to take care of them, even if that means giving up what makes him happy. I do think he wants Dong-man to succeed and be happy, but he’s angry enough at Dong-man to physically fight him, so I’d say they have some stuff to work out.
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